The Good Ol' 2 For 1 Deal...

"...some things don't leave you, you just put them down for awhile..." The SoD



The heavens underestimate my powerful eternal reign simple and plain my time on this earth from birth til the day I die is spent living for the lifetime instead of the moment. It was these same moments that gave me a chance to dance with death, in fact it was these same moments that I spent most of the time taking in my fate over in over in a last breath followed by short clips of life slide showing different times when I was at my finest.

All this as I look at and take in what should've been the end of me. Wink to the sky cause I know God's been good to me. So each day I'm alive I strive to become stronger, on the inside more so the outside holds up longer. Recognize my faults as exactly what they is. Mine. So in the end I can tell the people in the biz to step off only because it is my faults that only I can ride or die with by myself. Please keep your BS comments on the shelf right next to the 9 I rather go to the range with as opposed to giving to one of those kids so they can have an excuse to go and attempt make a man outta themselves. While some choose to stay fly and live to just die by getting high I rather stay fly while I enjoy this high I am feeling on life, cause to me anything else is bout as simple as the opposite of right

Trade in nothing because I feel like I've been blessed with life as a whole, no matter how many I create I have what I need to make my goals, Faith to the Father, Love from my mother, plenty of sisters and brothers and not to confuse but I am an only child, but that is just how blessed and unstressed I be. Taking each step made for me with authority, knowing that any step to the left or right can change the future almost as simple as turning the day into night, so I try to stay focused. See?



The paths so many each one to eternity, just the one that we all walk brings forth obstacles and adversity, and to overcome emotionally means to live your life thoroughly and looking back can only jack what you been trying to acheive the right way morally

the ability to be happy, and to exhale and be free and to decrease the ignorance that just can't allow you see how without the stress and the insecurities of the complex realities of our society doesn't at all have anything to do with the simplicities of enjoying the lifetime fruitfully

and all of this ain't nothing new to me, destined to define how decision determines destiny, and hopefully reach the distant derelects with distinguished diction so that this street game ain't consider the real but it's gains are all fiction. My mission is not to become a walking contridiction but a promonent dominant fixture in changing one's position living the lifetime instead of the moment and know the future is in the front so the path is ours we own it

walk your path for a lifetime and feel what you feel in your lifeline, and let your accomplishments determine what you want to be defined. You'll see so easily that it's who you are destined to be

I love this life that I'm living so simple...Simply "D"

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself...

"...back to work." - The SoD


I wanted to but quite didn't
and for that some folks are smitten but the path for me was already written and for me to follow with a hollow mindset I soon forget that I had somewhere to be in the first place. You tend to make some lefts on the trail of the paper chase.

and not to diminish those who insist that this game of life be finished so soon
I been here never left but compared to the elephant in the room
I'm patiently waiting for high noon so I can step out the saloon and bring real life to those living in the cartoons...
and in the background the music coming in not a minute to soon
a whole new woooooorld...

exactly what it is , living life with no extra bullshit in the biz, to wake up and go to sleep without having to worry about ignorance breaking what has been acheived in between the rock and the hard place of life's decisions. The gifts from above stay gifts to the gifted no stress from the wicked as the fight for survival isn't a fight but a long dragged out process that takes a lifetime to achieve life's wishes

and there it is in the distance, adversity and resistance, doing whatever it takes to stop me from acheiving, whether it be hating or deleting those around me, I'm driven by obstacles trying to pound me, folks who try to down me, and with all that surrounding me it is my life's duty to stay grounded in the foundation so I can build eternally

to make the complex as simple as the simplicities around me, insist that I got this to extinguish insecurities and at last the masses have been reached the way it was meant to be
and through it all I stand tall simply put

Simply "D"

On Guard

"...who knew?" - Pink


For my Gma who's been there and done that. To my sister's Gma who's also done the same. I felt you and that's why I didn't get any tissue, it was all joy.

Don't yall go dying on us now ;)

Anyway, we did it. Yes America we finally got something right. Yet it doesn't stop there and yall know that. There's something we finally got and that was a voice. Use it to the fullest extent, and not to talk shit about how Michelle's hair looked or where she got her outfit from. I can only pray that my man can clean up 8 years of shit in bout' 2 cause if he don't then it's gonna start with the media and work it's way down. Stay on guard for the unhappy republicans. Yes they do work with you and will not take to kindly you rocking your "change is here" attire. They will have their "no bitch, shit is still the same here" attitude as they are telling you to take a day off to enjoy this.....unpaid. Stay on guard people.

I hope you youngun's heard the man say to pull your pants up. To think it's now the PRESIDENT talking to yall, so yes you are looked at too.

I'm starting to think Pennsylvania was a blue state coming since they got Ryan Howard on the Phillies knockin shit out the park. AND they won the World Series this year??? To them, and Virginia (which surprised me....no really it fucked with me) To Ohio (for getting it right finally) and to Cali for making it all interesting for a mere 10 minutes.

Most importantly, big nut grab and finger to FoxNews for trying to really cop out and sellout Palin the way yall did. (I watched that shit to see how they could really spin this in McCain's favor) To think yall were actually talking about the fucking 'white' man vote in VA was bad enough, to actually blame Palin for not being that big of an impact was even more fucked up. I mean HE picked HER- wait, what the hell am I giving them time on my shit for?

....1st shift, new day, more day to enjoy.....Sleeping.

I'm out yall be cool.
The SoD

Early Morning Dinner...

"Chicken and Fries at 3? Good wit' me" - The SoD

Lights hovered all around a skyline missing something

the clouds attempted to overshadow a moon which caused mother nature to wink at us through dark blinds

the light green tree hugged by its leaf blew in the wind as the warm heat ran circles and made circles in my body

I didn't realize how hungry I was

Knew this day was coming and something just something said that it was going to go down...sorry I had a head start and watching the mudslide slide down took me to a place where I was so damn...

oooh what's the word?  Haven't been there in awhile a keychain picture and a piece of me holds on to that smile caught up thinking about the last time we sat here just like this and the other times...there were so many and none were ever considered a memory, just constant reminders of what some consider lost...

sorry I was allergic to the sauce amongst other things

it was as if the years never went by you was still warm and I was still shy and as much as I tried to the chocolate tone of my skin couldn't mask the embarrassment of slipping out thoughts I shouldn't have been thinking out loud.  There's several people who can look me in the eye and see my soul yet at a particular moment in our life you managed to see my soul and touch my heart at the same time, while eating chicken at that...

and to know this wasn't the first time

in fact to know it was the first time had blown my mind even though I spoke with my heart before giving you the chance to just tell me what was and yeah there was static but through somewhat sporadic communcation and failed attempts at trying to fix something never broken the rain did fall but my window stayed open and yours did too

confirmation that no matter how long the rain came and the pain from attempting to change life's game will soon end as the realization of real friends can actually mend the pieces of the heart without any surgery so easily my mistakes could have you ignoring me but your reception to my apoligy wasn't the only thing that floored me 

obviously

chicken and fries...3am mudslides...what's next on the list?  24 hour Thai?  Don't matter to me, just as long as you breathe, this isn't the last time....

no more years in between.

The SoD

New York Shit....

" 'Yada, yada, yada......damn."  -  The SoD

Let me be clear.   I am only a hater of the New York Yankees.  My Gdad loves the Mets, GMa loves the Jets, and my dog gets quiet when the Knicks and Giants are playing.  Moms is a fan of the team I hate, so you can say I'm guilty by association.  Besides.  I'm from West Mass, which makes us a bit more social to the New York scene as opposed to Boston.  So once again I had to tell cats that I'm not from the Bean.  They got it, they could tell by my lack of an accent.

Anyway, I hit up the City this past weekend.  (Big I'm sorry to J* in Philly and M* in Deleware, I got yall don't worry)  Although I went on short notice, still it was all it should've been.  I didn't have much traffic so I breezed through CT easy.  Once I crossed the Whitestone, it was a wrap.  

Hello Brooklyn...howyadoin?

Hennessy?  Check.  Broccoli?  Check.  My peoples? Check.  The Hood?  All around me, check.  Much love to the Brown Sugar club for providing the musical backdrop for my visit.  Shit was rocking, and yeah I have to say I enjoyed myself.  Short time, I know.  Still yet though, next time mo' henney and mo' broccoli.  One of the people's that I kicked it with was NY's finest.  K*, I'll be mo' prepared next time, that's my word.  It is going down.  JZ*, thanks for having me.  We WILL do it again.  Love the view on the rooftop, I can see many of saturdays spent just looking at sunsets and skylines.  That is the shit.  For real.

The trip wasn't over with that visit.  Made my way towards the Fulton Ave area where I got with someone who I haven't seen in close to 10 years. (Couldn't let that happen again)  Anyway, we both had alot to talk about and still I don't think that we got it all out just yet.  With that said like the last paragraph, we will do it again.  KB*, it's good that you and I are still as close as we always were.  I know for damn sure we gon hit that spot up again where we ate, only this time I'm eating too.  You can thank the good ol folks above for looking out for me with that plate.  Goodness knows I needed to soak up all that Cognac.  

I loved it, and will do it again in the future.

K* get your game up.  We will collab on a track for fun.

Brooklyn Stand Up.  Yall rep it well.

The SoD

Population Control

"...I see the way she looks at you." - The Realness


It's the reason why I have more female friends than male. That line was given to me by a close friend about someone who seems to be giving me alot of attention lately. I do see the elephant in the room, however, it took more observation from someone on the outside to confirm what's real.
...the smiles are come hithers
...the occasional looks down are thoughts of switching positions
...she's wearing lip gloss...yet she keeps licking her lips.
Yeah, I heard it. Caught the evil eye for giving it the time of day. Not to say I'm in any position to be on some bullshit. (I am smart you know) I just was caught off guard by the intro. Good look on the light shine T*, although you hit me with it rather than just turn it on :)

Why population control? It's walking in the dark that can cause mistakes of procreating without thinking. Think about that.

On another note. Some may be wondering considering my myspace whether or not to even hit me up. Well. I'm working on a new page and yeah, alot more shit upcoming.

My boys are winning the world series again....as long as they beat the s-00h shit they ain't even in the playoffs....

There's a great way to end the season and the life of the stadium. DOA.

I'm out
The SoD

Count to 10....Now Breathe

"Fuck where I've been, it's where I'm going."

I've been out for awhile.  Don't ask, only the real know.  Just know that I'm fine and all is well. As some worry about my safety, I try my best to keep those close at ease.  Understand that I've done alot of things that I don't regret.  There hasn't been anyone that crossed my path that didn't have something coming to them as I went through them to continue my path to become me.  I never brought anything to anyone, I was the reactor, the person responding to situations that affected me in some way or another.  Each time I was careful, and because of this I earned my spot in a way.  Alot of times I never asked for things to just 'happen', good or bad.  Fact of the matter is, they do.  With me.  Alot....a whole fucking lot.

My close brushes with death are things that I am still trying to live with.  From being shot, to having bats shattered on my head and numerous car accidents etc.  I have come to grips that it's easy for people to not trust the world around me.   Hell I'm the same way, yet I have to give some cats the leadway to live their life.  I can't help but to stress my concerns, yet I have to give them the benefit of the doubt that they know what they are doing.   It's how I sleep at night.  I'm loyal to my friends like I am to my family.  Unless there is some kind of reunion, I am on one hand with my number here.  So I keep it all tight like buttcheeks on a cold day.  Trust and believe, there are alot of things my friends have done that I don't agree with to this day, yet it's my trust in them not to remind them all the time.  

Do I have a temper?  Hell yes.  It's pent up from a time where I allowed people to make decisions for me.  Go here go there, become this, do that, smile more, kiss ass, and look where it got me.  Unhappy, stressed, and when it hit the fan, I was the scapegoat.  Unlike others who choose to point the finger.  I pointed it at myself and dealt with things as if I put myself there.  I said yes right?   We're not even going to talk about relationships, that's a whole nother' blog.  This is the other 90% of my life.  The people who talked that 'we got your back shit'.   The church, the jobs, old friends, teachers.  The ones who turned their back when I uncovered the real about them.  When it came time to pull their card, I instead used my wit and my past to stop the charade.   I said no for the first time, with a smile at that.  Instead of meeting me halfway, muhfuckas took the low road.  Talked shit behind my back, told me that I wasn't going to amount to nothing, said I was gonna end up a small article in the paper right before seeing my face in the obits.   This shit I was hearing at 15.  As time progressed,  jobs were taken,  goals were created and met.   I had learned and developed my own path where I could make my mistakes and tell others fuck you if they had anything to say about it.   I stayed faithful to those who gave me that leadway.  The ones who said they worry but it's cool.  When I come out on top, I don't even address those at the bottom.  Why?  Ain't no point.  What did they do?  Firing a gun in the air ain't killing the sky.  Why do I need to tell you I didn't get hit?

I am not the streets...that's the LOX.   People who know me know that I am prolly' one of the nicest people you could meet.  As long as you don't cross me.  No matter where I go there's gonna be someone who thinks they can come out on top of me, and that's fine.  The love of competition brings me to that level.  Yet, it's those who play dirty that underestimate me at face value, that don't know who I am.   They see the wire frames, they see the big feet and the lefthandedness and think I'm another sucker that knows nothing but computers and video games. Although I do, they don't realize that last symbol on my arm means "Dangerous" until it's too late.   I don't ask for it.  It comes.  Unlike some, I have a different way of dealing with things, besides....there's people here at home I have to take care of.  Can't have them without me at any cost.  So I have to be thorough with myself on all avenues.   Dig me?

With that said, there isn't a street you can't cross without looking both ways anywhere in the world.  Why?

Cause you never know who really is trying to hit you.

Count to 10....now breathe.

The SoD

Look Closely

"...'Strong',  'Intimate', and 'Dangerous'....top to bottom"  -  Tattoo on left shoulder

There comes a time where things just go up.  You wake up one morning and after giving thanks, just take in what's good.  The phone rings and you are performing in a big show in your hometown, you recommunicate with your best friend, you have a photo shoot that is promising, new jobs begin, and although the temperature is set on "melt", you realize that this is some cool shit happening.  So fast, so in sync, so fucking good.

Fuck what you heard, it's what you know.  I have to limit all my travelling to weekends and you know what?  Maybe that's all I need.  I always lived by the phrase work hard play hard so there it is.  With that GPS shit in the car and a new phone in the works with the same thing, the last thing I need is someone up in my ass about how I couldn't come see folks.   So once again I will go on tour, catching up and tearing shit down in the process.  This is gonna be some shit.  It's the drive home that's gonna be ill though.   Gotta get back and repeat the process.

So with that said, New York and New Jersey seems like the spots to chill, DC is last on the menu.  Looks like Darkness is gonna go for a ride.  

a lil' snippet cause some are asking....what the fuck does that shit have to do with the quote up there?

The heavens underestimate my powerful eternal reign simple and plain my time on this earth from birth til the day I die is spent living for the lifetime instead of the moment.  It was these same moments that gave me a chance to dance with death, in fact it was these same moments that I spent most of the time taking in my fate over in over in a last breath followed by short clips of life slideshowing different times when I was at my finest.  All this as I look at and take in what should've been the end of me.  Wink to the sky cause I know God's been good to me.  So each day I'm alive I strive to become stronger, on the inside more so the outside holds up longer...

The heart understands my personal eccentric repetoire by far I'm a romantic, fuck circle yes or no I wrote love poems on candy braclets with your name in the middle, trace circles on your backside and while making you giggle I'll tell you a riddle that I won't even have the answer to, but to think on it together forever makes it even better to hang with you and this comes without banging you and no I'm not aiming to, i'm too serious for playin' so I'll be fucking me gaming you.......

Ok enough for now...hmmmm that's two I gotta finish.  Those who know me, look close.

You've been served.

The SoD

It's Only the Beginning...

"Fuck classmates....I got church folk" - The SoD

It's been years...too long actually.  God doesn't time fly??

20 years ago....

Dover Deleware, the big one.  4 days and 3 nights college campus, and not one student in sight.   My crew wasn't as big then.  The second generation, the new jacks.  I walked on that campus of Del. State and no I had no intention on things happening the way they did.  The broad spectrum was meet and greet, mingle, and if your lucky make a new friend and enjoy that penpal life that you were introduced in grade school.  I had a bestfirend already, total opposite of him, yet it was the simplest of things that kept us close.  It was his eye that made me look your way, it was the first of many looks, and when we talked, you could shut out the rest of the world because unlike most of the others that was demanding attention, you had mine, and haven't lost it since.

Once the 1st generation left it all to us in 89' I knew seeing you again was a possibility.  You and my best friend was together, and I swore if you had looked at our phone bills you could easily see who talked more.  You can easily say that you and I had a bond.  Real recognize real, and I never once had to ask "Just who the fuck are you again??!"  There was the 1st meeting of your grandma, and you meeting my moms.   We protected each other, and no matter what, we held shit down.  

Someone help whoever fucked with that, or at least tried to.  There were haters everywhere, from the girls who couldn't stand you to the bitch ass muhfuckas that tried everyway possible to bring out the side of me that I should've left at home.  There was the incidents, the 9 in the suitcase, the football, the ongoing tension between New England and New Jersey no one but us understands but those involved, the waterwar on campus, the walkout in NY, the Detroit revelation, the girl from Rhode Island (you gave me hell with that), Tasha, Malcolm, that light skinned fuck with the high top that looked like Donald Duck, Miami (siggghhhhhhhhh).  The lack of understanding that we we're fucking inseperable, and those who didn't quite get it learned the hard way.   The intoxicating times shared in those spots, the late night talks that crept to the sunrise.  Wiped tears in the middle of heartaches we only asked for dealing with bullshit folks.  We learned not everyone is like us, we disagreed and got mad at each other like everyone else, yet the night wasn't over until we talked, even if it took all fucking night.  One of the first to ever really calm me down, at that age.  You knew I was something different, as I did you.   

We had our blank times, complete years of absence where some would either forget or choose to forget, eliminate closeness due to lack of presence.  Our paths would cross again not because they had to, but because we wouldn't let it happen any other way.  We have that bond.  We think alike, and for some reason, when you think about me, I'm thinking about you too.  Yep, we crazy.  My people's still know how to find you, and it's good.  I was starting to get worried.

So you got married, and I almost did.  Kids no but I'm working on it.  Worked for the government and still say fuck politics.  I'm alive no jive and I'm doing just fine kid.  

Fast foward to now, thirty, yet twenty years in the making.  After all this time, you are the one friend who's been there in some of my best and worst of times.  You've been the same and I couldn't ask for more...

....then again.....

You my best friend and yeah, it's only the beginning.

The SoD

I'm It....

"I'm funny enough....no more fowarding me chain letters and jokes on my phone please...." - The SoD


What I was doing 10 years ago?

Busting ass at Newbury College

5 Snacks I Enjoy
1. Charms Blow Pops
2. Tootsie Pops
3. Vanilla Oreos
4. Krispy Kreme Donuts
5. Kettle Corn Popcorn

5 Things On My 2-do List 2day
1. Walk my dog
2. Check on GMa while Moms is away
3. Finish working on track for album
4. Go to Foxwoods just to get away.
5. Roll purple in pink lemonade prior to #3.

5 Things I would do as a Billionaire.
1. Seek the truth on 9/11 and dare someone to call me unpatriotic.
2. Buy an island and mail a picture of my ass to the IRS.
3. Find a 3rd World Country to live in so I can go on BBC and talk about how fucked up the US is while sitting in flip flops feeding my iguana snickers bars.
4. Consider steps to become a trillionaire in case 1 don't work.
5. Invest in myself.

5 Jobs I've Had...
1. Security Officer
2. US Marine
3. Sales Manager @ Foot Locker
4. Youth Counselor
5. Artist (still employed)

5 Bad Habits
1. I bite my nails
2. I curse alot
3. I don't think there's any more

5 People I want tagged
1.________ Insert name here and do this OK??? (I'm talking to whoever reads this.)

5 Random Things You Don't Know About Me
1. I'm alot smarter than you think.
2. I can withstand pain like you wouldn't believe.
3. I'll keep it at that, those other 3 are for me.

The SoD

The Painful Visit Back...

"...you feeling it again eh?" - Moms

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

I threw out the bullshit hoping to catch some type of realness
instead there's excuses to cover reasons and the mainstream asks me if I feel this?
All this time I
wanted to see exactly what was good in my vote right?
I try with my might to keep positive thoughts in spite that there's negativity in my sights and this so called light that supposed to shine bright is only flickering cause my vote damn near got my lights turned off.

Ready to march on the White House with a gas pump and a sawed off.

Glad that I was raised in the ol school cause the new rules seem to be set for fools who live to love words that are far from the truth
we at war for security
we fine with the economy
as far as we concerned Bush should get immunity
60 million spent on finding out where Clinton's nut went
3000 dead with only 600 grand for truth development
3 billion into 7 in a matter of 10 seconds
and to think I voted in 3 elections post
drugs traded for weapons
and the Patriot Act is supposed to protect us and yet neglect the constitution that used to be what we were salutin' but has been traded in for illusion and we just started to get wise but the lies covered the confusion

Yet there's the fine print that says for what I get caught with I'm locked for a brief stint yet the ones who brought it to me walks free cause they work for the Government? Bullshit, or Bushit is what I call it, you step your game up only to get thrown down and fucked because of it.

and before I vote for this black man I need to know where he stands
will he clean up this shit or does he wipe ass for the man?
and as I fight to keep my lights on I check my cell phone for taps and check the hood for traps so I can conference call the hood to let them know when a plane is on its way to the projects
but it's sad cause paying for gas killed my cell phone minutes so I have to call collect
fuck black and white, it seems only green gets respect
and the more of it you have the more liable the connect
and when the shit hits the fan you are trained to neglect
cause it's the connects will insure that you feel no regret
until  can't come through with your end
and then?

can't run from what's only in front all the time
and it ain't what you just hear but what you listen to in the lines
our nation defined by broken foundation and war crimes
and when the dust settles I'll be the fucking pot talking shit to the kettle
and while they investigate me to see if I'm down with Bin Laden

I'll be on the muthafuckin' frontlines finding justice for those forgotten.

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

The SoD

The Green Incident

"...anything is possible." - Kevin Garnett

I predicted 40 pts.  Ray Allen losing his mind (or finding it at least).  Tony Allen banging on someone, them being cocky enough to bring it back this way, and make it look good at the same time.   Yall was fooled.  Kobe getting MVP was a smokescreen, fuck what ya heard, it's about what you forgot.  We busted that ass when we saw them last, and don't give me that Pau Gasol crap, they were a regular team before and after him.  We were better from the beginning.  Period.

To KG, Jesus, Sam I Am, PJ Brown, Cool Ass Doc, yall deserve it....to Rondo, Allen, Posey, Powe, Big Baby, and House yall got something to show the kids, now bring it back.

and to think my BoSox won their game too.

I know somewhere in Phoenix there's a big dude laughing his ass off.  Somewhere in Colorodo a girl is looking up at her man saying....

"I told you he's cursed for life now...."

go green

The SoD 

Mid Day Hunger.....

"......we need to do lunch again..." The SoD



Clocks ticking
traffic moving slow lights glowing yellow
still I stay mellow
moving north on Main Street
destination unplanned then again
what else is new???
inside sits a divide where the false fights with the truth
and walls become obsolete when
real recognize real and
the inner soul partakes on a journey that ends when
you don't really know where the journey first began
yet
we enjoy tracing back the steps...
and it sucks that in life those steps are taken
quiet as kept
words pacing in a box yet
there's this embrace of this misplaced
freedom
a level of mystery so easily defined but so
much of a complex respect 0f things inside
that the heart can never forget
and no mortal can ever divide


sitting down
feels just as good as the first time
same feeling of butterflies
not visable to the naked eye
smiling at everything that comes my way
only from the right of me
refusing to indulge so I can keep focused
on good company
thoughts flash like a view finder
with most of them
with you under me
catching you staring
the chill I get with you glaring
makes me chew on the ice so I can
justify the shiver that came out of nowhere
all that's missing is the burger fries and coke
or was it pepsi?

cinnamon buns
long walks in the morning
carpeted floors
face sweating
knees burning
hard working
boss jerking
still smirkin'
long distance eye flirting
it was curtains

and on the way back I was highlighted by
the way we brought back what has been lost before
a pastime not shared by those who value it anymore...


the chance to do lunch.....*


*part 1

Realities...

"You get this feeling that just won't go away...." - A Friend



I've been thinking about that line because going on stage has produced the same feelings over and over again. Prior to when I go, I have this butterfly feeling in the gut. Nothing to do with being scared to perform, but how I deliver. I want the crowd to feel me, the way I write and what is being said. Never was I afraid to get on the stage, but yet while I'm there it's a different story, if anything "yo son, that's whassup, you did your thing" is not enough. I need substance "yo son, that line about the castration of education was off the hook, my son is going through the same shit" I can fuck with that. Let's me know you were listening, let's me know that I was doing what I set out to do....make you think.

With that said, there's ton's of feelings that won't go away, my constant obsession with playing competitive basketball, my love to perform, my loyalty to those who've been nothing but real to me. I take these things and never have to analyze them for anything. They are just what they are, feelings that don't go away. I get away from it awhile and still I'm in a good place. I never thought about losing with these things because they are the things that keep me happy.

Nevertheless, there are those who choose to try and disrupt that and it's cool, I respect that. Ain't nothing more I like other than a hater. Still yet though, it's the inside that is never affected, which drives they ass crazy. I smile, yet inside, I just put you through a wall.

On the inside of me I am juggling alot of things, good things at that. I'm still learning my life as the changes in it have opened me up to new things. I am dealing with feelings that won't go away. Not that I'm trying to make them.....but you see that line up there.

Other than that I'm out....more stuff to write.

The SoD

New Jersey Drive This Ain't

"We too far gone to see what's important" - Miss Jenkins


You would think that you would hear a reason rather than an excuse
or that you could actually play the race card at the top of the deck
You would think that one of those shells actually belonged to the 'suspect'
or there was some hidden beef that will surface in the future
Justice has been castrated and it's remains draped on the necks of those
who uphold the 'law'
and they rock their chain faithfully while their bracelets finds wrists to secure themselves against
You would think that this was the best way to stop crime
Instead they ask why in the hood we draw lines to seperate us from them who all through time preyed on the weak of the mind only to find they were blind to the fact that we weren't the ones with the nightsticks and dogs
Just trying to live in the system who's foundation has been flawed
and the last time I checked, their primary is to serve and protect
and they demand my respect or else it's now shoot and forget?
So what if they were minorities?
Which can only mean is that common sense becomes obsolete to authority
Fuck black and white, fuck excuses, here's truth
We didn't paint the battle lines black
You police painted the shit blue.


RIP Sean Bell


The SoD

*Boom*

"...If you think too hard on this, your head gon' explode." - Student


If I was really into politics like that I would ask whether or not the war going on was really in Iraq as opposed to every news channel that comes on. Hey Dems, put the gun away, take off the diaper and understand that in order for them to not look and treat us like shit, stop giving them shit to treat and look at us like. There, I said it.

Now in other shit, looks like the government is gon' come up with this polygamy bullshit. 400+ kids all in the hands of the State that's going to make hundreds of thousands of dollars putting them in the system. I can't and won't make any comments on their lifestyle simply because I don't fully understand it. Yet, I will say though it comes down to the simplest of truths:

"Fear of the unknown, brings ignorance"

Point blank, you don't know about someone yet you fear them, you are going to find out whatever you can to ensure they are out of your cypher, to eliminate any chance of understanding, one will cut corners to extinguish the situation at hand. By any means necessary. Sound familiar? Well ask the Black Panther Party, The Nation of Islam, Bloods and Crips, The KKK (Yeah I said it), Rappers, Women, and any sole person who would carry some form of impact or "I ain't about mainstream America" type attitude and instead of trying to understand where you are coming from, some would rather say fuck it and nip your whole belief by saying you aren't what we want so no we can't count you type shit. How's that for the land of the free?

Not to say that the Polygamist groups are right or wrong. What I'm saying is, America doesn't seem to like people on their own program. With wiretapping, DNA testing for any and everything, GPS on cars just for spying, you can't tell me all this shit is for national security. In America, I know what it felt like to have a life, now I feel like in order for me to have one I need to give my personal one up in advance so they don't THINK I'm going to do something, and if I did then they can actually tell me the last time I spit gum out my car window on my way to the RMV, ain't that a bitch? What sucks even more is that muh fuckas don't even have all their shit together and they've been working on the fly for years now. It is us who suffer through the whole shit, not because we want to, but the 'fear' of what can happen if you DON'T follow what the mainstream wants of you.

Almost sounds like a job I used to work at. The only time they want to talk is when you fuck up. Although in the beginning you asked for that policy book so you wouldn't fuck up, and you know your rights as an employee in case you fucked up. Yet, it's not available because of the 'fear'. I am not about corporate politics and made it clear numerous times that I'm not game to that bullshit. Still, don't tarnish my record because you 'fear' I'm going to corrupt your so called 'robots' that just say "ok" and get stepped on. Do the right thing, act like you know and make it convincing too. I will call you on your bullshit, and leave if there is no change feel me?

Some people think too much, I was one of those people. I overanalyze so I can understand all aspects of things. I simplified it by sealing shit with a KISS approach (Keep It Simple Stupid) it works, and you would be surprised that even in the worst and harshest of situations, that's all that's needed.

But don't think too hard though....your head just might explode.

The SoD

Missed Free Throws

"...comes back to haunt ya in the end." - Bobby Knight


You work on em first when you learn how to shoot. Nevermind the lay-up, this is the predecessor of the jump shot. The one you just stand there and whatever you do beforehand (bend knees, rotate the ball in hand three times, wink to the camera, rub yo' nuts, smooth out waves, whatever) you let that ball go with enough confidence that it's going in. Your routine says so, the countless times you done the same thing over and over because it's the first thing you learn before you start jumping with the ball. You become fluent in your actions and once mastered, it's like breathing. You know what you are doing before you do it, then you forget that you are doing it until you think about it.....

and that's when the pressure builds, the sweat comes, and all that shit you thought you would remember has come with the baggage of whether or not you perfected it enough.

*clank*

You want to go back to basics, you want to put yourself in the position of when you were learning to have 300 straight after hitting 299. You remember being there and want to go back. There's just one thing....

you're in the game, but you miss and there's practice and nothing but. You make it and there's not only just practice, but a victory.

Not just for you, but others. You thought about hitting 300 and going for 500. Instead you went out there and played hard, not relying on the one thing that helped develop your form, your release, your coolness under pressure. Instead you relied on the muscles, the ups, the people telling you you got it going on. Your team is the shit, its your year anyway.

*clank*

and no matter what you went out there and busted your ass, you took it there and gave your body a thorough workout and then some. You told yourself that you could take the shots, but you wouldn't need em' cause you were up and didn't think the other team could take over, yet they knew that you didn't have it on the line, the one fundamental that got you there you let slip away for that moment. Maybe you did need those extra 200 that you let go, because at that point you would've realized that it does matter, and in the end it does justify the means.

Keep practicing the free throws in life simply because they're free. Your supposed to hit those.

slack up and you might blow it in the end
ain't that right Memphis? (damn you)


The SoD

No April Fools Joke Here...

"...either which way, you know it's going down...." D. Moss (Spoken word artist)


I've been busy. Actually I spent a good three weeks sick with the flu and borderline newmonia (look I know how to spell but this shit was some kind of of sickness) Anyway, I'm better and what luck do I have coming out of the sickness and landing a g-note playing blackjack. Gotta love that shit, right?

I know I've been out of touch with my peoples and I apoligize. When you are trying to get your house in order and you are still maintaining life at the same time, you realize that some things are out of reach. I wasn't going to sit there and try to have people tell me why they can't understand me through all of the coughing and throwing up. I hate it when people try to talk to me like that so I was doing yall a favor. Either way, I can only hope cats are still in my corner as I am in theirs. If you have fallen off and are doing your thing, that's cool with me. I can only expect that yall keep it moving like you all should. Just don't write me off in a big ball of bullshit cause I don't bite, and I won't. You're better off where you are.

My man D. Moss gave me a call and said that there is a spot in the field' that will open up the spoken word back in he 413. Glad he gave me that call, cause I been waiting to spit that shit for a good minute. Lord willing, I'm back to 100% so get ready. I will post my times that I will be there.

To my immediates (yall know who yall are) the phone is open, call me
To the associates, keep getting money like yall do.
To my newfound card counting class, you only make dough if you are willing to learn how to bake. Let's get money. Period. (Will fill you in later)

All that said. A whole lot more to come.


I'm out, yall be cool
The SoD

Seeing the Shadow....

"No excuses, just reasons...." - The SoD



I know I know, we lost. I get it already. To know the ins and outs of it are too complex for the basic sports fan. To really see the big picture and take a good idea as to what happened I will put it down in 3 good reasons why we took the L:

1. The O-Line for the Pats played like the Mob was in the building.
2. Spygate a day before? Unless I'm a Johnny come lately there's some truth to that shit that no one wanted to find out.
3. We got outplayed*

I'll leave an asterisk on that one if number 2 had anything to do with it. The game was a good show, and I was on the edge of my seat the last quarter. OK enough about that though, back to the real.

I waited to blog for the simple fact I needed to fall back for a minute. I know we all on some 'get our shit together' type thing, but still yet I managed to move, enroll back in school, and with work and studying, and let's not forget the poetry, the kid has been some type of busy. I realize like a true Capricorn I don't see everything as perfect yet I strive to make it that way as best as I can. No more do I find myself sweating things that are not really that big. I been on my grind and closing myself out to suit myself. Don't take it personal, but know that I'm still me, and if you couldn't deal with that then, then disregard the statement. I'm looking to alot happening in the 08' and yeah, I'm gassed up and ready to blow.

Someone got a match?

I'm out
The SoD