As We Proceed.....

"...cause shit can get ugly like a Master P sneaker...." - Lloyd Banks

Ok, so I quoted GUnit, but on Biggie's track, no harm no foul. I still don't like em' yet the line above speaks volumes you dig? It's back on stage again, today and tomorrow, I rock the spot in CT once again. I have yet to put things up on my myspace due to content and well, can't give yall too much, what can I leave for my book? I actually sat in the barber shop and cats were asking me about the performances and stuff. Once I let them know I have a CD in the works, I was given the green light to sell in the shop. Much love to Exclusive's on State St. I'll have something for yall soon. Can't wait......then again I can, don't want to rush a project, being a Capricorn, I thrive on making things right, so with that said be easy.....(insert quote above here)

Took some time to plan a trip for my birthday, yeah if you been up on my shit you know with the exception of 04' and 05' I had the most shittiest birthday's for like 9 years straight. I WILL NOT turn 30 here, by any means necessary. So that time while yall are still celebrating Kwanzaa, I'll be either in Negril or Belize doing it right (without Bentley holding the umbrella).

On another note, I will be going back to school in the late fall, yeah, gotta expand the knowledge on a greater plane. With the overtime and school, and the writing, plus performing, the kid is hella busy. Especially when I'm doing everything by myself, the mad scientist is really making use of what I was blessed with. Only time will tell if it all pays off.

I smile so much now, once you let go of shit, you really get this overwhelming feeling that things are ok. It becomes alot easier to breathe...and yes I'm loving the air.

I guess you can say now that things are back to normal. Except with the added changes in the scenery, still yet the leaves are wonderful to look at. I hope to take a drive on the Pike and observe what Mama Nature has in store for us. For me. I can only thank God that I live here to see all of it.

That's one good thing I have to say about my surroundings in the 413.

My Red Sox will take the division. The Yankees will lose first round. Nuff said. You want it, put your grizzlies up. Make sure your wagers are rightous.

The SoD

The Comeback Party....

"Heard your knee is better, when's the comeback party?" - Wayno

Nah kid, ain't no comeback's this trip.

I can't say i'm retired, but I know coming back this year isn't the thing for me. I know that there are summer days still left in september but really I ain't thinking about the court. I rather hit the stage and kill em there. It's more fun and I don't have to worry about limping back to the car either. Speaking of which, can't go without mentioning that I'm back on stage this Friday, and yeah, it's going down in Hartford once again.

I'm also in the studio now touching up some beats for the CD. I still haven't got a name for it yet, but I'm working on it. My myspace account will be updated soon and there will be more to see as far as up and coming projects. Keep in mind all of this and I'm still writing a book and a play. I need to renovate the lab, although I'm relocating, I'm just not at ease in a cluttered area. Which is why I bring a pen and pad to work, at least I can escape into my world when the kids are busy you dig?

It's been on for awhile, and some things around me I'm not sure of, yet it's the accomplishment of it all that satisfies me. With everything happening, it's a blast to know that I'm a ticking time-bomb of ideas, and with my season underway, its even better that they are coming together.

Got a call last night that blew me away, yet, it's these calls I was afraid of. Don't want to make an impulse decision on something that I'm not ready for, we'll see in due time...

Shout out to T* you've been a great help in this here, and I can only hope you get where you need to go, fuck BState.

For those trying to reach me, my cell phone is broken in two pieces and the replacement will come on Thursday....fucking kids....

My thugged out teddy bear I'm looking for sometime soon.....

The SoD

Week Off...

"Football with Uncle P* is the shit...." - Noodlz


I can't perform this week. Shit. Today is the 1 year anniversary for me at the job. Shit. I got a play to write by December with music. Shit. All flags fly at half mast today. Shit. It's raining outside....

what more can happen?

I am utilizing my time to create sunlight through all of this rain. Woke up with tap dance sounds on my trap door asking me to come out and get wet. I chose to stay inside and finish this poem I'm working on. With 15 hours to work tomorrow, I got nothing but time on my hands now. I'm scared to go outside because I fear my car is on it's 28th mile with like 4 to go before I run out of gas. Every move I make is a crucial one. The rain doesn't help but I make my way easy.

I'm too used to things here.

I got a call from a friend who is interested in seeing me perform in RI. I haven't been there in awhile, but seeing that I'm alot better I can make it out there again. I got so used to being closer to home, I forget where I started. I will be there, just let me take care of some things.

I'm still moving closer to independance. The credit check is still up in the air. (God I hate those) It's like waiting for a ride to be serviced while you are on it. The anticipation is killing me whether or not I get it, but I can only hope they hit me back with good news. I been drooling over this place for months and yes it suits me just fine. High ceilings, brick type walls and space is what I need to proceed. Long as I have my room for a pole and a stage. I can always practice before I preach dig it???

Noodlz came back and he gave me a call to lemme know how things went. Good to know that he came back. He says Amsterdam is the truth and if it wasn't for his wife, he would've been there the whole time. Shit, I gotta go...but not for what he talking about. I rather perform, and THEN hit the hot spots. He no longer gets on me about certain things which is cool, yet he is still Noodlz. We joked on about everything, but got real serious when we talked about the Stankees sweeping us earlier this month.

"You saw dat shit? Fucking Yank me bitches, who the fuck they think they are huh?"
"Noodlz, calm down man, we got em earlier this year."
"So da fuck what? I'll shove Jeter's fucking head in a dryer and fix his fucking face, hate that fuck you know?"
"Yeah, maybe when they come here, we can pop him one from the stands"
"Heeeeeeeey....that's not a bad fucking idea, maybe even get that GayRod too."
(Fish eye look at the phone) "Uh.....slow down man, too much Vino during dinner man."
"You tryin' to fucking disrespect me? You fuck? Fugghedaboutit"
"Yeah fugghedaboutit indeed"
"Fuck you"
"Hey fuck you"
"You coming to dinner with the family Sunday?"
"Is that a request?"
"Shit yeah, football with Uncle P* is the shit"
"It's on."

and like that, we cool. I gotta give it to my man, he's full of laughs, yet when he's serious, you gotta stop him...potential for some shit to go down is like 90%.

Anyway, I'm chillin. Today, I show love to all New Yorkers who either was born, raised, and lived in the state. Even the ones I don't like, you all are in my thoughts on this day.

Including the Yankees.

I'm out
The SoD

Over the Hump(Day)

"I had to...if you only knew what was inside of me at this very moment..." -The SoD

The Love Jones Open Mic was pretty ill on Wednesday. The ladies took over as the ratio was about 8:1 on the benefit of the ladies. I took notice that no other poets that I met were there. I was on my own this time. I wrote a poem called "I Wish" but it needed revision so I told myself that I'll put that to the side and give them a taste of "Sweet Observation". I had remembered that poem considering that it was the one that had the most impact on the last crowd. I also thought about coming home and writing more material. Don't want to give them the same thing twice unless I been in the game for awhile. Can't bore them, can't keep repeating myself. As a rapper in my young days, I had this thing where I said:

I spit my game mean but some say I'm too nice/only a rewind of the tape can get the same shit twice.....

I was 11 when I wrote that, but anyway I know that what I do is just a let-go of emotions. I just also know that I'm not one to be pegged when I get on stage. The Angry Poet, The Bitter Poet, The fallen rapper...that's just not me. I am a man filled with all different types of emotions. When I get on stage, there is so much I want to give the people in those 3 to 5 minutes. I want to leave a piece of me on that stage before I leave. I was asked why is it that I always look down at the floor when I'm done with my poems. "I had to....if you only knew what was inside of me at that very moment" is all I can say. What I know, they can't know. I have to save something for myself.

I think I've been successful. I left the stage with people asking for that poem. I have to remember to bring copies. I also have to remember to bring someone with a recorder to make sure I can be heard on my myspace account. Yeah I have one, but it's poetry...all poetry. Come there for some bullshit and it's a locked door looking at you. Show love and the door is open all day.

No drinks this time. I left the stage with an applause and a couple of ladies asked where mine was. I pointed to my chest where my heart was and they looked a bit taken back cause I had no words. Just smiled and pointed. One even asked where my ring was. After saying I wasn't married, she asked where I would be next. "I don't know, this isn't a regular thing for me yet." I said back. "Well I hope you make it regular, you're pretty talented and I want to know what you think of my version of "Sweet Observation". I smiled and my cell phone rang (thank God) it was my boy Fire Element showing me love. He said that he wants to come next time, I told him to bring the recorder, I need some help.

It's on next Wednesday. My man C* just got married and he'll be featuring in Bridgeport. I will be there to show my love and drop a bit on it as well. I won't be alone this time, and the 413 is gonna be in the building. Yay.

My man wanted me to invest in a studio that will produce my cd. I don't know about yall, but anything more than a G, I want some Diddy type shit. I gotta find a low key cat that is trying to come up. It would be hot that he got me to help him and him to help me. Who knows? We might blow together.

Speaking of which, its Friday. I been on the patch since Wednesday. I have to say, it actually works. Just feels weird sometimes. Back on the program, and another step closer to independant living, I'm flying high.

The war's over, and you know what? Life is cool. Right now though it's all about me, life is full of ups and downs, and with the smoke clear and me standing, I'm not standing still. I'm moving foward. Can't wait to do so much....I'm 100% now, and the one thing keeping me from what I want to do is me.

So with that said. I'm no longer on light duty. It's back to the lab. Back to creating.

"Per me, per l'amore, per la vita."

The SoD

Monday Night Raw

“....Guess que lo está en ahora....” - The Sod


Once again I rode solo. I thought about alot on the way this time. I looked at my phone and noticed that I had a missed call and pulled over to check it. I had no time to call it back. Sign ups were at 730 and I got on the highway at around 710. I checked my pocket for my work and realized that I wasn't reading this time. I was reciting. I went over my piece line for line as I turned down Sam Cooke singing something about Cupid. I wanted to shoot his ass myself, my heart wasn't on point.

When I got there, I took a pass on the BEz drink and instead settled for a bottled water. I went outside and noticed the good luck and have fun on my message screen. I closed my eyes and imagined myself looking at the stage and seeing this person, I did that on the regular just to take the edge off. Made it feel like I was only talking to one person instead of a crowd. My vision was rocked though because all I kept seeing was a chair with no one in it. I couldn't focus, I had too much going on. I thought about taking my name off of the list. Instead I made my way back inside. Mind Evolution took the stage and killed it. I figured as much seeing that it was her spot. I noticed though none of the other cats I met at the last spot were there. I listened to Plus1, Stylez, and Emcee Eternal rock for awhile and a woman named Grace showed us just how amazing she was when she rolled an el while she did a poem on the dangers of smoking weed. Funny as hell.

When it was my turn to rock I was introduced with "Reunited" by the Wu Tang Clan. As I approached the mic, the violin in the song sent a shock through me, this warm rush flowed through me and the poem was in big letters in my head. I nodded hard to the shit... I took the mic and closed my eyes....

...the little big man is not a gangsta......

and when I opened them, there was the chair and there was someone in it this time. I read the words in my head and lost myself in the motion of the delivery. I gave them every inch of myself and didn't care. The energy was crazy going through it. By the end, I was catching claps and I still had 5 lines left. I finished with a pretty good applause. ME* came up and said I am gonna feature soon enough, sent me a text from Concious who told me he was sorry he couldn't be there. Invited me to the Poetz Realm on the 12th to get down. All the way in Bridgeport??? Sheeeit, that's a hike, but the BluNote made it to the Bean so I guess I could. First though, it's the Love Jones Cafe on this Wednesday....maybe I should bring the adult content this trip who knows?

So the month is pretty boo--wait, almost forgot have visit with doctor on thursday. With the swelling down and the pop and lock not there I just might earn myself a discharge, considering I don't really need a cane no more we'll see. After all it is the 2nd opinion and that's the last, I just keep my faith with it and move.

guess it's on now...

The SoD

Friday Night Lights......

"Just let it go...." - The Inner Thought Process...



I pulled in to Coltrane pumping out the speaker in the parking lot. I checked my cell phone one last time and noticed that there were no messages for me. I took in a breath of air and walked around a bit. There was a cookout going on and me not knowing anyone, I asked the cook how much for a plate. After telling me it was free, I took the timeout to chow on some burgers and chips. I haven't had much of an appetite since last weekend, but as time progressed (and a giant step away from those cigarettes) I realized that I wasn't depressed anymore....I was determined.

The vibe was great, straight vegetarian as I felt no beef anywhere. I looked in the club and noticed a person tapping to the jazz playing. I sat on the couch and chilled a minute, observed the scene and then went outside. I couldn't sit still. I was nervous, yet I wanted to get whatever was on that paper out, I didn't expect to freestyle, but as that paper came my way and I heard the poets, I just had this rush that said..."just let it go". I went to the car and chilled.

I got in the car and sat back in my seat. I noticed all the cars around me with CT plates and recognized that my friend who put me on to this venue wasn't there yet. I noticed a poet that I performed with the week prior just pull up. She had three friends with her that were all poets as well. She asked me if I was going to read and I said yeah. "That's what's up, you did your thing at Organix Soul and I was hoping you would be here." As much as I smiled, the feeling inside me was nervousness. I was the only male rep from the 413 in the so called 'rival' city. I didn't know if what was in my back pocket folded up was going to hold up.

It was my turn to go (number 8 on a 20 poet roster), the DJ you will meet down below introduced me. I smiled and showed love to all those who made it easier to perform. I pulled out the paper and let it fly. All of my poems with a little story as to how they came about. "Sweet Observation" came from what I know is the most beautiful sight around 5 in the morning. "Thoughts From the Inside" speaks on what it feels like to climax with the one you love. "To You and Only You." spoke on a love that won't ever die. In that order, I took the crowd and silenced them. As Sweet Observation came out. I noticed that the female poets went to the bar and quieted everyone who was loud. Don't know what that was about, but as I spoke, I noticed that I had took the crowd with me somewhere, the brothas giving me hell yeah's and dayums came from the ladies as they asked me what it was I felt at 6 in the morning after the sun was already up. The ovation made it so much easier to come with 'Thoughts'. I was about to get off stage and I was asked to do something off the top. I spit about what it felt like be an underdog and when you hear someone yell "that's alright" then I knew I was. As I got off stage, Mind Evolution came up to me and whispered in my ear...."Lemme know when you want to be a feature" and handed me a flyer. I will be performing on Monday. The other poets were off the chain, as I met them I realized that I was missing out on alot. This crew adopted me into their fam, and I walked in the place a third cousin, but walked out of there a brother. Here's some of the fam:

When Concious pulled up, he showed me love right off the back, asked me about the striped enyce shirt I was rocking. He then noticed my constant glares to the sky and asked me if I was nervous. I said a bit and he introduced me to everyone. Told me that there is no commercialism shit here, just passion. Right up my alley, and I was full of it too.

Cool ass Dave who is a DJ in CT, there was a level of realness as soon as we talked. I mentioned to him I was a DJ myself and he knew that shit from 93.7. He invited me to come on the show and do things. That ain't no question. Took card and he texted me as I left wishing me blessings on the way home and gave me a number to reach him at the station whenever. Something more to add to the cypher in my life.

E da Storyteller was the host who made sure that not only was I on, but had one of the best introductions I ever had. Came with some heat about "Guntown" and "Down Goes Babylon" dude is freaking crazy, and his vibe was contagious.

Brenda's Child is the poet I spoke of above with her three friends. I have this strange feeling she and I are going to slam together, she mentioned that she loved my shit on myspace and that we needed to exchange numbers on the real. Looks like I need to be in the lab for awhile if I am gonna be on a team soon.

Mazie and Mind Evolution were the features, I met ME @ organix soul last week, and although she is a bitter ass poet, she is the warmest person I shared with. I had to give it to her, she bought me a 'b ez' drink. Remy and Coke. Don't think I forgot aight? They tore it down. "The Girdle" "Real brothas/sistas do real things" "The Corners that Cut" pure sickness.

Lockdown is everyones sister, mother, confidante, cousin, just everything. She found out I was a friend of my man who didn't make it and instantly asked me if I was ready to slam yet. I didn't know what to say but whenever you ready. She was too cool though, a reader with a heart for anything tangible. "I like" "Sex + Confusion don't = Love" and "Give ME Back" were some real words I wish I got a copy, but she didn't have any.

These were the main players and I got a chance to vibe with them all. I found myself writing down my myspace address to so many people. I came in myself and left the same way. As I drove home, I thought about how I got here, what it took to get this far...how far I'm going. I still have such a long way to go. Yet the path is clear and pretty much set. I will be back on the stage Monday, and writing just comes with breathing. For those who helped me along the way thank you. I'm eatin' now, and the vibe is cool.

Til then, back to writing and reciting.
The SoD