Over the Hump(Day)

"I had to...if you only knew what was inside of me at this very moment..." -The SoD

The Love Jones Open Mic was pretty ill on Wednesday. The ladies took over as the ratio was about 8:1 on the benefit of the ladies. I took notice that no other poets that I met were there. I was on my own this time. I wrote a poem called "I Wish" but it needed revision so I told myself that I'll put that to the side and give them a taste of "Sweet Observation". I had remembered that poem considering that it was the one that had the most impact on the last crowd. I also thought about coming home and writing more material. Don't want to give them the same thing twice unless I been in the game for awhile. Can't bore them, can't keep repeating myself. As a rapper in my young days, I had this thing where I said:

I spit my game mean but some say I'm too nice/only a rewind of the tape can get the same shit twice.....

I was 11 when I wrote that, but anyway I know that what I do is just a let-go of emotions. I just also know that I'm not one to be pegged when I get on stage. The Angry Poet, The Bitter Poet, The fallen rapper...that's just not me. I am a man filled with all different types of emotions. When I get on stage, there is so much I want to give the people in those 3 to 5 minutes. I want to leave a piece of me on that stage before I leave. I was asked why is it that I always look down at the floor when I'm done with my poems. "I had to....if you only knew what was inside of me at that very moment" is all I can say. What I know, they can't know. I have to save something for myself.

I think I've been successful. I left the stage with people asking for that poem. I have to remember to bring copies. I also have to remember to bring someone with a recorder to make sure I can be heard on my myspace account. Yeah I have one, but it's poetry...all poetry. Come there for some bullshit and it's a locked door looking at you. Show love and the door is open all day.

No drinks this time. I left the stage with an applause and a couple of ladies asked where mine was. I pointed to my chest where my heart was and they looked a bit taken back cause I had no words. Just smiled and pointed. One even asked where my ring was. After saying I wasn't married, she asked where I would be next. "I don't know, this isn't a regular thing for me yet." I said back. "Well I hope you make it regular, you're pretty talented and I want to know what you think of my version of "Sweet Observation". I smiled and my cell phone rang (thank God) it was my boy Fire Element showing me love. He said that he wants to come next time, I told him to bring the recorder, I need some help.

It's on next Wednesday. My man C* just got married and he'll be featuring in Bridgeport. I will be there to show my love and drop a bit on it as well. I won't be alone this time, and the 413 is gonna be in the building. Yay.

My man wanted me to invest in a studio that will produce my cd. I don't know about yall, but anything more than a G, I want some Diddy type shit. I gotta find a low key cat that is trying to come up. It would be hot that he got me to help him and him to help me. Who knows? We might blow together.

Speaking of which, its Friday. I been on the patch since Wednesday. I have to say, it actually works. Just feels weird sometimes. Back on the program, and another step closer to independant living, I'm flying high.

The war's over, and you know what? Life is cool. Right now though it's all about me, life is full of ups and downs, and with the smoke clear and me standing, I'm not standing still. I'm moving foward. Can't wait to do so much....I'm 100% now, and the one thing keeping me from what I want to do is me.

So with that said. I'm no longer on light duty. It's back to the lab. Back to creating.

"Per me, per l'amore, per la vita."

The SoD