"....just smile and nod....sometimes it's the best way...." --- The Number 1


You would think after a while I could come and give you all paragraph after paragraph of some time in my life where.....or what happened when....

not today. Today I'm going to just smile and nod.....too many thoughts, too much time sitting here THINKING.....well not to say that I don't have anything to vent about or talk about. It's just that my focus on other projects have been taking my time a bit. So with that said I'm going to smile and nod here....when I can bring back the focus over this way you all will know. Until then, just cheer me on while I continue to shine in other areas.

This means that I'm working hard, playing hard. Going to make somethings happen so that way we can get back to life and move onward and upward dig? Way of the world like EWF...

Smiling
Nodding

TBaby* I see you girl....welcome to the State.

Killa* Glad you making strides

Waving
Peace Sign

Love

The SoD

Left Handed Luck....

"Do you have a problem?" --- Seat number 4







This is at a poker table. Everyone vs. the Dealer, dude comes and sits down talking all kinds of shit. All of us been there over a good 45 minutes...3 drinks in and on a first name basis. Good thing we all like the Sox....knucklehead sits down and begins this "how I won this and that and then blew it all type of story" I notice the dealer is more into his story of losing because the cards get to all of us alot slower. This pisses me off, as my drink becomes stronger and our convo has died out because somebody who didn't quite get the memo that this was a 'happy' table.....typical response would be to ask the dealer to speed up....he does, and the cooler comes out talking some more just taking away from the whole game......I'm up on chips so I grin and bear it....he's losing so I'm kinda enjoying it....when I catch a bonus, he looks at me with disgust as I'm slapping 5's with elderly ladies who can't get enough of the 'brotha' with a cute smile....

his look is what prompts me to ask the question you see above....

"Well, you too much into the game, why don't you just learn to chill out and leave the circus for the hood..."

................................wait.............................what?

I had to finish my drink to actually say that. Even the ladies had to shake their head on that one. "He's such a nice man, and a gentleman...he's just smiling at this moron.....cool too." I looked at him without my glasses. Makes it more easier to read my eyes as if to say not today or tomorrow, but you repeat that then right here, right now." He took his cards, studied them, dealer gives me a look that says "don't". I look up at the cameras so they can see my face....I get my cards....

pocket aces....

$10 bonus bet...at 30-1....

$300 just for keeping my temper....

and a life got saved in the process....

How's that for Left handed Luck????

Quickie....

".....sometimes I don't even know how I do it......." --- The SoD



Another weekend to work. Yay. I can't complain though, as much as you want to sit there and not be at work, I actually enjoy it. I get paid enough to and the staff don't sweat me like at previous jobs. I'm free, and I get it done. Add that to what I do outside of work, and you will come to understand that I am pretty busy, but at the same time, pretty boring as well....I am not routine, just occupy my time with a bit of everything. People forget that I'm an only child by birth which allows me a bit of selfishness when it comes to achieving my goals. The closer I get, I find more and more people questioning my work ethic as though a 32 year old can't just get up and go.......

well I'm gone, and I'll actually wave as I pass you by IN LIFE.

I'm a poet, and if I had the time to audition more, I just might be an actor. Somewhere down the line, I'm going to be somewhere sipping something on a beach. Thinking about a time where all this hard work really held me down, but not out. I believe that alot of folks are finally coming around to actually see me showcase something they knew I had in High School, but were too cool to acknowledge. Guess I came out at the right time....now they can wake up.

As for the rest of you, I'll be watching the world cup. If you've read my old blog, then know that before I played basketball (we'll get to the Green in a sec) I played Soccer, and I was good at it and loved it....parents you want a game where your kid is learning or developing skills as a player and teammate? This is the one, oh and if he's under 12, practice alone will run him tired into sleep.....just make sure he or she does their homework first.

It's raining outside? No wonder I slept so good.......if I had my 'pillow' then I would sleep even better.

Ok....I gave some cat a peek and what do I see? Prince.

right after I had something to say on my man......

people.....

please......

no question I have quite the size, but have no room for you to ride son.....


I'm out yall be cool.....

The SoD

Silent Intrusion.....

"......must be working on the elevator somewhere......" --- Some woman at the mall



I pooted in the elevator at holyoke mall today. Not one of those loud joints but the old silent but deadly. Shit was hot and as it seeped out I just knew someone would catch it. Already someone was there with me, a woman, two teens, a dude with a bad beard, and a floor to reach before I can escape my own madness. To no avail, they played with buttons, let more people in....I looked out the window and waited.....


"........what the fuck is that?" the man said.

Instantly everyone looked at him then down. Like they knew it was him and no one wanted to say anything. The teen boy laughed, his friend asked if he did it. The kid said no all serious and the woman just broke the commotion with the elevator line.

I smiled and dropped another one before I got off the elevator....

one to grow on.


Ok, my beloved Celtics play tonight. Know this, over here there are some Faker fans who never seen anything Cali besides Set It Off and Snoop Dog....ask a Faker fan from New England where Rosco's Chicken and Waffles is and they are clueless as shit....ask them who their bench is and they say Phil Jackson....wtf?

I at least know that the celtics will win tonight....done deal.

Ok now I would like to address some dumb obsolete negro who don't get the message....you'll never get where I'm at, let the picture be a tool to fuel your madness as you can and will never be anywhere closer than just a comment on a blog that does not care or give a shit less about you. I know you read me, cause you see that one on the screen like who's that? Now you can enjoy my words as this is the only time I will address you. Unless I feel like it, anything else is face to face, and traveling only adds to the pain.

Moving on....

I want some Rolo's....bad.....real bad....like a fucking addiction....chocolate and caramel.....

Tore it down at the Poetz Realm....who knows, might link it.....

I'm out, Go GREEN

The SoD

Who Needs Sleep?

"...One tequila, two tequila, 3 tequila......FLOOR" ---- T-Shirt



It was one of those kind of weekends. Went to the Free-2-Spit on friday on like no rest. My body is done, my mental capacity was gone, no way could I remember shit and I don't even remember how fundamental my reading was. On the way there I had a loooooong talk with a friend who couldn't recognize that talking on your phone on the 91 can end up with fines that they aren't in the position to pay for. Still yet there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, cause someone didn't expect to see me at all......YAY on that.

I met my new friend Tai Allen (If you haven't heard this cat you will soon enough) the weekend before at the Freaknasty (another post another time) in NY. Someone tell me why I haven't heard of this event before....erotic poetry and showcase at its finest.....anyway, he was at the free to spit and did his thing as well. Good ride to the train station and a green light to NY was what's up. Good look, and I'll find you on FB fam....word.

LG* thanks for not leaving to go out with friends, I was really trying to make it before you made any impulse decisions lol.

Popeyes chicken with a walk up window in the middle of the hood is not kosher at all....

One tequila......


Saturday I woke up with birds chirping the sun shining and a new day that I'm actually off of work. Worked out, and was actually refreshed considering that I didn't really sleep the day before. Sure I'll take a mike now, but instead I'll opt for the slots and game room at Foxwoods. Bus trip poppin, I managed to make it back to the field in time for my mom to run me around on some last minute errands to make her trip a success....always the team player I oblige. I had no problem with it cause I needed gas dig? Anyway shout out to NW* who I hope had got it in at Mohegan while I was at the Woods'.....seperate bus trips, lots of drinks, should equal both being winners even if we didn't win cash. If anything, I sure felt like a winner that's for sure.....3 shots in and I swore that I was going to have fun regardless.....and I did.

2 tequila.......

Getting back I slept like a rock....the buffet was good, but after all that alcohol I was downing, I just ate to soak it in. That's right, one plate and hope for the best. The band started rocking so that meant anyone who was willing enough to start the electric slide had the green light....such is life, as we kept moving......

3 tequila.......

Ahhhh.....Sunday, parting is such sweet sorrow, yet I know that its almost time to get back to grind mode.....of course the hustle never stops, but hey, can't have it all now can we? After giving directions, and having a coffee, I went around town tying up loose ends....I noticed my BFF hit me on the facebook....gotta check that out, might be an emergency....wait, I just got a text with some laker fan talking shit......I got a bottle of 1800 and made my way there...in a couple of hours magic bout to happen.....

FLOOR!!!!!!


Celtics win.....in the lakers house. Planning my vacation.....counting down days......cd CD CD!!!!......back to work......back to life......always a reality......


The SoD

Noyz....2010

"....gimme a minute here, I'm thinkin'...." -- The SoD



gonna take it back to the good ol days with this one.


....so I get a call and there's a voice that I don't want to hear on the other line, my fault if I make it clear that I don't want to talk, your fault if you keep talking and get hung up on.....breakfast is good in the am.....better in the pm......celtics didn't sweep.....redsox win.....need colors for the season that a chocolate complexed brother can wear....I need a beach....so what I like Prince?......cafe world should be turned into D's House of Hoes and Ribs.....someone tell me how it is that she is down there and I'm up here but when we talk its like we next to each other......I work too hard....I don't work enough....this cd needs to get done....tired of hearing bitches bitch about bitches bitching all day.....and don't even recognize that their bitching makes them the bitch....if I don't like women in hondas and I dated one would that make me a hypocrite? I mean I'm not fucking their car???.......just sayin'......Im beginning to wonder about this revolving door in my life.....wait, you mean this item that clearly says that its 1.99 is really 3.99? well, how bout you sell it for what it says, wait til I leave, then take it out on the underpaid cat you made price tag the shit?......if she's emotionally, physically, and mentally gone, then I shouldn't feel bad right?.....might return to the outdoor ball sessions this year.....someone needs to get dunked on....a quick one for somebody, now that we are years removed from all the bs, just how did that teacher work out for you?......finished "The Other Woman" by EJD.....glad I'm not married.....wonder if she thinks about me like I do her.....almost done with this shift.....300 push ups, 200 dips, 200 pushouts, thats just at work....never mind what I do at home....or at the gym....why can't I seem to have 'Staying Power' while all my peoples who DO have the most issues are stuck with theirs forever?........Honey Smacks........Apple Jacks.....is NOT a good combination.......I wanna smoke......I love my job.......relapsing is a sign of weakness...so is quitting something you like to do.....I'm confused.....not about alot just some things......I can't stand deception for self gain....people lie for excuses not reasons....people tell the truth for reasons not excuses.....poetry is still my thing....performing is NOT a lifestyle.....at least to me it isn't.....I need to slam.....I miss The Russell....will my album sell?......can't wait to hit London.....it's my time now, and if it isn't it will be soon......Betty White is the shit.....how will those kids accept me?.....is this really happening?.....friday........Friday......FRIDAY........bacon......cherry tootsie pops.....a new goapele cd.......dimples.......those damn eyes........

ok back to work....break over......

......take me with you....---Prince

the SoD

Not a Fan.....

"Exactly who are you again?" ---- The SoD



I'm not a fan of the Lakers.....nor am I a fan of the Magic, seeing that I'm on a roll with this, I'm not a fan of bad parents, blatant ignorance, extreme conceit and cockyness, and most importantly, women who think they too much when in fact....they are just that, TOO MUCH.


Its funny how when I thought of this post it was right before a nap where I would wake up and proceed to go in to work where I would hustle for 12 good hours. Not thinking about the outside world but thinking nonetheless. Making moves to my soon to be apartment....polishing this album of poetry, and staying relevant to fans and friends who support me keep me moving. Although the relationship part hasn't developed, can't really understand some of the bumps along the way of attempting to find love from those who say they "really understand, and accept me". Makes for an interesting topic.....Unconditional Love perhaps? Yeah, maybe....but more like the fine print in convo that just gets overlooked...ALOT.

I am quite convinced that if you are having trust issues presently because of your past. Then here's a clue to dating.....DON'T. It's obvious if you can't handle someone in front of you trying to make you happy and all the while you're sitting there telling yourself he's full of shit then you're just not ready. If you sit there and give a war report about your ex for more than 5 minutes and have nothing to say about your now 'present' situation....you're not ready. If you think looking in someones inbox because you're not 'sure' about them??? Yeah not ready.

Then there's the fine print that's overlooked, that is supposed to somewhat justify this uphill battle most men and some women find climbing. That print clearly should state...."Before dating me, understand that when you see me there is no one else, and if you so happen to want to let go a thought that has something to do with your past, better have 3 more that deal with the present because last time I checked, I am someone NEW, and that shouldn't have to deal with issues OLD." PERIOD. Maybe people hear it and still are too shallow to hear what's being said. At the end of the day whether you like it or not....you are judging the new person by the faults of the old person....at this point you should stop, check yourself, look around you....because it just might be YOU that may be the reason you are lonely....

I've had more than one hand of people tell me three words that I take very seriously. I Love You. I question it because so many people have so many different opinions of it...one said it as a way of saying that it was our longetivity as friends that made her fall for me, another said it was because I have amazing qualities that she never seen in anyone else, one said that they saw the way I treated people and wondered how I could be so genuine, another had the feeling surpressed for YEARS and just came out with it like a crush foundated by newfound confidence....The crazy part of all this? Two of them are just divorced, Two are married (Still), One just had a baby, and another is 7months......why in the heck it took so long to say something to me of all people? Well you guessed it, when I was right in front of them years ago, it was SOMEone else who caught their eye, and when you think the grass is greener, you forget.....

It's still grass....you maintain what you're lawn looks like.

So yes I question it, and the answers are real for the most part. Yet the fact is, if your actions can't back up what you say then your card gets pulled, and feelings get hurt. If you like me, then like me going after you, do the same. You want the old school? I'll step to you, but if you want to act like you're in a reality show and I'm just a fan, again I'll fall back and let the rest of the world sweat you. Don't need that bs...no one does, like trying to dive in a shallow pool....you want deep water but can still see your feet at the bottom. Last time I checked, when someone treats you like an option, drop em. But at the same time, if they are the option and you treat them like you want them as the number 1, then someone is actually trying to make a step up....can't make it with them? Let them go. PERIOD. Don't keep them around.....because in the end you're going to be pissed that he is going to get fed up as just a friend. Especially if you overlooked him for the next problem and only use his friendship to talk about your ex and your newfound exploits.

I had to clear that up for a good friend of mine. To this day he's still dealing with being a fan to someone who just told him that she's dating others...(although it was him that did the groundwork) it was them that did the gift giving. He presented himself as himself and what she thought she liked was clouded by the gifts she would NOT receive because he wanted a real person as opposed to the facade he thought he was getting. In other words, homie knew that she wanted to date others but did his best to get the 'real' reason as opposed to the 'I'm not ready to settle' I can remember her telling him over the phone that there was another guy that wanted to give her the world....he sat back for a sec because he knew his situation would only allow a piece of that world 'she' spoke of. So instead of trying to go crazy and buy her, he went the other route, still maintained who he was, did what he could that was already making her happy. Still saved just in case and took another job to do like Dream said and 'get his money up' not for her, but so he couldn't hear that again....he wanted to say "I got dough, but not breaking bread with you because in the end you're only going to look for more" he got his wish too, because the next time he saw her, she exited the lex with another dude yelling at her...."GO TRICK ON THE NEXT ONE BITCH". He smiled, lit his blunt and went into the house. Dude actually dropped her off where he picked her up at, come to find out, she was talking to this dude all the while talking to my boy, even had dude pick her up in FRONT of my mans house to PROVE A POINT. Shallow? Need I say more??? Exactly who are you again??!!

as if this week isn't interesting enough....

Now they saying that the beerbaby parents might not be charged.....WHAT? I would like to find a state that allows the homeless to stay in HOTELS.....don't get me wrong, I'm all for housing the homeless, yet there's an issue when I want to use the pool and I gotta wait for cats paying half of what I am for the same purpose......dig it?

With that said, another issue is the rise of Lil Wayne's Young Money Group aka Lil Waynes Thrown Out RhymeBook Reciters....some day I'm going to dig up Roxanne Shante's cell phone number and put the hit out on Nikki Menage (you think I give a fuck if I spelled it wrong?)....then again I could just holler at my lil cousin who's 6 and can give you a hot 16 as long as you have a cherry tootsie pop. Can someone explain to me how Jae Millz (remember him? the dude from the battle with Ness on the MTV flop Diddy's Band Season 1?)....too much talent to be on a roster like that. Won't go into Drake, but I give you a year dude. This is your summer, take it enjoy it, and know that soon....VERY SOON....a REAL RAPPER will come at you, and will expose your non freestyling self on a bit more than youtube (Thanks Asher Roth)...

To my Celtics....much love on being road warriors.......I AM A FAN

All Laker talk will cease as they sweep the Suns....I still hate them with a passion, so feel free to send all hate mail to my inbox....

Lebron James hate mail can come via phone (I'll actually give you the time to talk about why I am NOT a fan) and email as well.....Please do not make any attempts at trying to convince my fam of becoming fans either, they will eliminate all connections to you and just might leave a bag of shit set on fire at your front door. Cause hey, we all need to face our own bs, and not put it on others.

Ladies be a good friend and tell your big lady friends that leggings and skinny jeans hide nothing and to appreciate their thickness as there are people who love without condition.....this has been your PSA.....

Fellas getting better at telling the younguns to pull their pants up. Yet still can't get over the whole skinny jeans thing with a sag.....come my way and I have a size 14 to help those jeans find a way 'up'

Kids are still bad.....sigh......there's a post I did about this years ago....is my other site still up???


The album is there, question is am I there? Hard work for real......HARD WORK!!!!!

Ok gotta roll......time to finish the job....

I'm a fan of that.

The SoD