The Painful Visit Back...

"...you feeling it again eh?" - Moms

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

I threw out the bullshit hoping to catch some type of realness
instead there's excuses to cover reasons and the mainstream asks me if I feel this?
All this time I
wanted to see exactly what was good in my vote right?
I try with my might to keep positive thoughts in spite that there's negativity in my sights and this so called light that supposed to shine bright is only flickering cause my vote damn near got my lights turned off.

Ready to march on the White House with a gas pump and a sawed off.

Glad that I was raised in the ol school cause the new rules seem to be set for fools who live to love words that are far from the truth
we at war for security
we fine with the economy
as far as we concerned Bush should get immunity
60 million spent on finding out where Clinton's nut went
3000 dead with only 600 grand for truth development
3 billion into 7 in a matter of 10 seconds
and to think I voted in 3 elections post
drugs traded for weapons
and the Patriot Act is supposed to protect us and yet neglect the constitution that used to be what we were salutin' but has been traded in for illusion and we just started to get wise but the lies covered the confusion

Yet there's the fine print that says for what I get caught with I'm locked for a brief stint yet the ones who brought it to me walks free cause they work for the Government? Bullshit, or Bushit is what I call it, you step your game up only to get thrown down and fucked because of it.

and before I vote for this black man I need to know where he stands
will he clean up this shit or does he wipe ass for the man?
and as I fight to keep my lights on I check my cell phone for taps and check the hood for traps so I can conference call the hood to let them know when a plane is on its way to the projects
but it's sad cause paying for gas killed my cell phone minutes so I have to call collect
fuck black and white, it seems only green gets respect
and the more of it you have the more liable the connect
and when the shit hits the fan you are trained to neglect
cause it's the connects will insure that you feel no regret
until  can't come through with your end
and then?

can't run from what's only in front all the time
and it ain't what you just hear but what you listen to in the lines
our nation defined by broken foundation and war crimes
and when the dust settles I'll be the fucking pot talking shit to the kettle
and while they investigate me to see if I'm down with Bin Laden

I'll be on the muthafuckin' frontlines finding justice for those forgotten.

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

The SoD

The Green Incident

"...anything is possible." - Kevin Garnett

I predicted 40 pts.  Ray Allen losing his mind (or finding it at least).  Tony Allen banging on someone, them being cocky enough to bring it back this way, and make it look good at the same time.   Yall was fooled.  Kobe getting MVP was a smokescreen, fuck what ya heard, it's about what you forgot.  We busted that ass when we saw them last, and don't give me that Pau Gasol crap, they were a regular team before and after him.  We were better from the beginning.  Period.

To KG, Jesus, Sam I Am, PJ Brown, Cool Ass Doc, yall deserve it....to Rondo, Allen, Posey, Powe, Big Baby, and House yall got something to show the kids, now bring it back.

and to think my BoSox won their game too.

I know somewhere in Phoenix there's a big dude laughing his ass off.  Somewhere in Colorodo a girl is looking up at her man saying....

"I told you he's cursed for life now...."

go green

The SoD 

Mid Day Hunger.....

"......we need to do lunch again..." The SoD



Clocks ticking
traffic moving slow lights glowing yellow
still I stay mellow
moving north on Main Street
destination unplanned then again
what else is new???
inside sits a divide where the false fights with the truth
and walls become obsolete when
real recognize real and
the inner soul partakes on a journey that ends when
you don't really know where the journey first began
yet
we enjoy tracing back the steps...
and it sucks that in life those steps are taken
quiet as kept
words pacing in a box yet
there's this embrace of this misplaced
freedom
a level of mystery so easily defined but so
much of a complex respect 0f things inside
that the heart can never forget
and no mortal can ever divide


sitting down
feels just as good as the first time
same feeling of butterflies
not visable to the naked eye
smiling at everything that comes my way
only from the right of me
refusing to indulge so I can keep focused
on good company
thoughts flash like a view finder
with most of them
with you under me
catching you staring
the chill I get with you glaring
makes me chew on the ice so I can
justify the shiver that came out of nowhere
all that's missing is the burger fries and coke
or was it pepsi?

cinnamon buns
long walks in the morning
carpeted floors
face sweating
knees burning
hard working
boss jerking
still smirkin'
long distance eye flirting
it was curtains

and on the way back I was highlighted by
the way we brought back what has been lost before
a pastime not shared by those who value it anymore...


the chance to do lunch.....*


*part 1

Realities...

"You get this feeling that just won't go away...." - A Friend



I've been thinking about that line because going on stage has produced the same feelings over and over again. Prior to when I go, I have this butterfly feeling in the gut. Nothing to do with being scared to perform, but how I deliver. I want the crowd to feel me, the way I write and what is being said. Never was I afraid to get on the stage, but yet while I'm there it's a different story, if anything "yo son, that's whassup, you did your thing" is not enough. I need substance "yo son, that line about the castration of education was off the hook, my son is going through the same shit" I can fuck with that. Let's me know you were listening, let's me know that I was doing what I set out to do....make you think.

With that said, there's ton's of feelings that won't go away, my constant obsession with playing competitive basketball, my love to perform, my loyalty to those who've been nothing but real to me. I take these things and never have to analyze them for anything. They are just what they are, feelings that don't go away. I get away from it awhile and still I'm in a good place. I never thought about losing with these things because they are the things that keep me happy.

Nevertheless, there are those who choose to try and disrupt that and it's cool, I respect that. Ain't nothing more I like other than a hater. Still yet though, it's the inside that is never affected, which drives they ass crazy. I smile, yet inside, I just put you through a wall.

On the inside of me I am juggling alot of things, good things at that. I'm still learning my life as the changes in it have opened me up to new things. I am dealing with feelings that won't go away. Not that I'm trying to make them.....but you see that line up there.

Other than that I'm out....more stuff to write.

The SoD

New Jersey Drive This Ain't

"We too far gone to see what's important" - Miss Jenkins


You would think that you would hear a reason rather than an excuse
or that you could actually play the race card at the top of the deck
You would think that one of those shells actually belonged to the 'suspect'
or there was some hidden beef that will surface in the future
Justice has been castrated and it's remains draped on the necks of those
who uphold the 'law'
and they rock their chain faithfully while their bracelets finds wrists to secure themselves against
You would think that this was the best way to stop crime
Instead they ask why in the hood we draw lines to seperate us from them who all through time preyed on the weak of the mind only to find they were blind to the fact that we weren't the ones with the nightsticks and dogs
Just trying to live in the system who's foundation has been flawed
and the last time I checked, their primary is to serve and protect
and they demand my respect or else it's now shoot and forget?
So what if they were minorities?
Which can only mean is that common sense becomes obsolete to authority
Fuck black and white, fuck excuses, here's truth
We didn't paint the battle lines black
You police painted the shit blue.


RIP Sean Bell


The SoD

*Boom*

"...If you think too hard on this, your head gon' explode." - Student


If I was really into politics like that I would ask whether or not the war going on was really in Iraq as opposed to every news channel that comes on. Hey Dems, put the gun away, take off the diaper and understand that in order for them to not look and treat us like shit, stop giving them shit to treat and look at us like. There, I said it.

Now in other shit, looks like the government is gon' come up with this polygamy bullshit. 400+ kids all in the hands of the State that's going to make hundreds of thousands of dollars putting them in the system. I can't and won't make any comments on their lifestyle simply because I don't fully understand it. Yet, I will say though it comes down to the simplest of truths:

"Fear of the unknown, brings ignorance"

Point blank, you don't know about someone yet you fear them, you are going to find out whatever you can to ensure they are out of your cypher, to eliminate any chance of understanding, one will cut corners to extinguish the situation at hand. By any means necessary. Sound familiar? Well ask the Black Panther Party, The Nation of Islam, Bloods and Crips, The KKK (Yeah I said it), Rappers, Women, and any sole person who would carry some form of impact or "I ain't about mainstream America" type attitude and instead of trying to understand where you are coming from, some would rather say fuck it and nip your whole belief by saying you aren't what we want so no we can't count you type shit. How's that for the land of the free?

Not to say that the Polygamist groups are right or wrong. What I'm saying is, America doesn't seem to like people on their own program. With wiretapping, DNA testing for any and everything, GPS on cars just for spying, you can't tell me all this shit is for national security. In America, I know what it felt like to have a life, now I feel like in order for me to have one I need to give my personal one up in advance so they don't THINK I'm going to do something, and if I did then they can actually tell me the last time I spit gum out my car window on my way to the RMV, ain't that a bitch? What sucks even more is that muh fuckas don't even have all their shit together and they've been working on the fly for years now. It is us who suffer through the whole shit, not because we want to, but the 'fear' of what can happen if you DON'T follow what the mainstream wants of you.

Almost sounds like a job I used to work at. The only time they want to talk is when you fuck up. Although in the beginning you asked for that policy book so you wouldn't fuck up, and you know your rights as an employee in case you fucked up. Yet, it's not available because of the 'fear'. I am not about corporate politics and made it clear numerous times that I'm not game to that bullshit. Still, don't tarnish my record because you 'fear' I'm going to corrupt your so called 'robots' that just say "ok" and get stepped on. Do the right thing, act like you know and make it convincing too. I will call you on your bullshit, and leave if there is no change feel me?

Some people think too much, I was one of those people. I overanalyze so I can understand all aspects of things. I simplified it by sealing shit with a KISS approach (Keep It Simple Stupid) it works, and you would be surprised that even in the worst and harshest of situations, that's all that's needed.

But don't think too hard though....your head just might explode.

The SoD

Missed Free Throws

"...comes back to haunt ya in the end." - Bobby Knight


You work on em first when you learn how to shoot. Nevermind the lay-up, this is the predecessor of the jump shot. The one you just stand there and whatever you do beforehand (bend knees, rotate the ball in hand three times, wink to the camera, rub yo' nuts, smooth out waves, whatever) you let that ball go with enough confidence that it's going in. Your routine says so, the countless times you done the same thing over and over because it's the first thing you learn before you start jumping with the ball. You become fluent in your actions and once mastered, it's like breathing. You know what you are doing before you do it, then you forget that you are doing it until you think about it.....

and that's when the pressure builds, the sweat comes, and all that shit you thought you would remember has come with the baggage of whether or not you perfected it enough.

*clank*

You want to go back to basics, you want to put yourself in the position of when you were learning to have 300 straight after hitting 299. You remember being there and want to go back. There's just one thing....

you're in the game, but you miss and there's practice and nothing but. You make it and there's not only just practice, but a victory.

Not just for you, but others. You thought about hitting 300 and going for 500. Instead you went out there and played hard, not relying on the one thing that helped develop your form, your release, your coolness under pressure. Instead you relied on the muscles, the ups, the people telling you you got it going on. Your team is the shit, its your year anyway.

*clank*

and no matter what you went out there and busted your ass, you took it there and gave your body a thorough workout and then some. You told yourself that you could take the shots, but you wouldn't need em' cause you were up and didn't think the other team could take over, yet they knew that you didn't have it on the line, the one fundamental that got you there you let slip away for that moment. Maybe you did need those extra 200 that you let go, because at that point you would've realized that it does matter, and in the end it does justify the means.

Keep practicing the free throws in life simply because they're free. Your supposed to hit those.

slack up and you might blow it in the end
ain't that right Memphis? (damn you)


The SoD